indiansummer.

While holidays kinda give you a slight mental imbalance, i believe it has always do u so much justice. Duh, if u look at the plenty good times to spare. You can absolutely do anything under the sun, with no one to intrude. (without getting caught, obviously.) It is called freedom. And it all begins to make sense all of a sudden that I have absolutely no reason to excuse myself (jobless but always striving) this time from catching up on some proper reading.

Currently, i've taken up a novel (miss bookworm is back!) on one of the most clever life lessons to inspire - 29 reasons on why u shouldn't ever marry a rockstar. Fling, yes. But elope? it's just so wrong. I tot reading this is a cool way of comforting myself upon knowing that these kind of things are only handy for my little, sick sad imagination but not really in my reality. Unless destiny comes in. Which is totally a different story all together.

And don't laugh. I told fizah that I had to get some household chores done today and couldn't meet. I mean like, ME? Me, the supersize spoilt brat who's only couch potato-worthy. But hell, I'm not that bad okay. I'm really not stiff on these kind of things believe me only sometimes, when i admit that i'm totally hopeless. Well whatever then, you'll see if the kitchen is spick-and-span or not.

I'm holding back so much nowadays, u have no idea. I agree that it's totally the battle of the fittest. :(

ps:it's unpretty to hear sobs and watch her swallowing back her tears everytime you turn around.

Epitome of a blinded asshole.

Date / Time : Saturday, January 24, 2009 / 1:19 PM

He, who don't deserves my sister, don't deserves my family's every pride as well.

That's for being hyperallergic to long-term commitments.

Fear is cheap.

Date / Time : Thursday, January 22, 2009 / 1:47 PM

Are we all really set to face sophomore year?

I dunno about you guys but i'm actually dreading. I cld simply pee in my pants to show you how fucking terrified i am, really. But let's hope the 10 weeks' break really get the best of me. Tacky, but i really wanna appear fresh for my first day to the last. I actually want a reinvention of my life.

I'm gonna miss you all, truthfully i am. ;)

My mojo's gone.

Date / Time : Saturday, January 17, 2009 / 12:38 AM

As we slowly shove all the hullabaloo of a loooong and difficult week aside, we welcome another hopeful weekend. TRUST ME, u don't wanna know hw my recent days had been. Painful is an understatement, ok lets don't go there. BUTTT school was unusually slackish this week (yippeee!) - which is definitely a looker. Literally, everyone's in an early holidays mood alredy, no shocker there. And dearly facis were starting to loosen up quite abit alredy which is absolutely swweeeettt! Esp my ever-favourite, Mr SMJ! And now, I'm carefully spending my next remaining days with my lovely W26Q before reality strikes; and farewell sets in. Cry me a bucket, everyone.

Now, i'm exhausted and dizzy as hell because i've no sleep, yet watching perky cooking shows on telly at 1 plus in the morning. How exciting. When will i quit. *Sigh.

i hope there's always a sunshine after the rain. a heal after a pain. and a lesson after a slip-up. i guess even tho i'm only (always) capable of giving 101 excuses to surrender, i meant what i said that regret has sank me in. tho i can't change the fact that i was a heartless mortal once, now it only begin to really open up my eyes and see how deep i had fallen, how distant a torching light was from me. i didn't realise how mighty the thickest of blood could be. u were beyond water, yet u were my survival. u brought in dad into the world which was really magical. and when it's too late for me to realize, you're alredy gone. several years already passed, i still noe, losing u is my biggest punishment yet.

i miss you, i miss all my grandparents. (if only, humans were.. using their heads relatively more... )

Mutilation.

Date / Time : Sunday, January 4, 2009 / 2:51 AM

"the end is closer than ever before
and you'll want nothing more
when your head hits the floor
and you're lost in the darkness
and we say goodbye and go underground
or up towards the sky
up in smoke burnt down to size"

I'm done with school.
Most importantly, i'm done being me.

Full circle. (Edited)

Date / Time : Friday, January 2, 2009 / 12:36 AM

2009 to begin with,

I'm fucking shagged. I'm stumbling into pieces. Isn't at all content with limited sleep that i got from yesterday. I looked completely a major pain, no kidding. But i like it how my text inbox started to pour in on 2009 well wishes messages (thanx guys!) . But i didnt reply any... and y, cause it was quite a handful for me to take at that time. But you noe me. I dun love my friends any lesser and i appreciate all your efforts for wanting me to have a good 2009. And i want u guys to have an equally good year too nevertheless, even better than me, even much much better than a year u had in 2008. The past is now history. Cheers!

Well i finally decide to give up making resolutions alredy. Cause, every year the list would be either identical or it gets longer. I'm so distress waiting for my ever impossible needs to come true. I will not complicate myself further cause i noe that all the lists will be SURELY un-entirely-fulfilled. So save my sweat on this one, am too overwhelmed alredy.

And from this very day, i guess bloggers will start to initiate the details of their amazing new year's eve to their readers alredy. And i'll start mine;

Actually got to hangout with Hasrull at the wee hours of New Year, quite a surprise there. We literally talked bullshit coz we each had brain malfunction (hahas!). Both ever so deprived of sleep. His tongue slipped and he cheekily called me 'stupid' once (which he never had before and shouldn't even think of it). I had no more energy to defend myself but really felt like smacking his air-head. Ahh, now i regret not doing it.

Pretty birthday girl, Norlin and family actually hosted a great party (with obviously crazy great food.) The boys were still very much the ever same bunch of people i imagined, esp his brother. Same old twerps who made us hooked with their humour. Didn't noe playing 21 and black jack would be so dangerous. Although the extended family and me isn't running in the same blood, they treated me amazing. I noe though my 'Eve was spent being around aunties, uncles, children, strangers... no cool crowd, no clubs or concert, i still find it wonderful. Wasn't as extravangant as you can tell but it was really cozy and warm. They inspired me to end my 2008 with a bang. I still managed to gasp at not one but many fireworks (yay yay!). In overall, tot it was alredy enuff. Kudos everyone.

ps:romeo o romeo,ur lameness can be a hindrance i dun get you sometimes but to think without actually having you around,i'll still be dreaming of magic, unicorns and phoenix.im your biggest fan.