The Syawal preparation at home is ongoing full-swing. Almost done though mom needed new flowers to complete her masterpiece. It's awesome how my parents had done up with the living room. Sometimes, i feel that it's too traditional for my liking but one's thing done deal is that the place is affectionately cozy. U stepped in and you know that it's an ideal humble abode. You feel like you wanna stay here forever.

I repent. Cause simply i know nuts about how i'm going to go around this. How do you possibly attain a brighter future for yourself with just mediocre qualifications? Yes, like everyone else, i have goals in life. Far too many i don't know which to wish upon first.

I need to survive this heart-wrenching 6 gruesome months (sacrifizing all my blood, sweat, tears!) and i promise you once i'm done, i will never look back. Cause i'm sooo ready for everything that comes next.

Meet me at your best behaviour, meet me at your worse
For there will be no stone unturned, or bubble left to burst

My biological clock is ticking, not in any race of time in getting married and starting a family though, but career-wise and in my present state. I do not want to develop a confused, unhappy version of me. I wanna be balanced in all areas that represent myself. Situations right now simply make me wear my heart on my sleeve and try. Why wait when you can re-shape your life now.

"So trust me when I say if a guy is treating you like he doesn't give a shit, he genuinely doesn't give a shit. No exceptions."

Today might be my last Sunday pigging around even though school's break is already on. After a week of hiatus, you might think going to work again is really gonna be tough. It definitely is. To catch up and be focused on something vital again, it takes lots of work, really. And get this, not only am i not be able to fully appreciate more than 2 months of independence, i'm starting my fyp soon and he's going back to work too, real soon. So, weekends are off-limits and i'm 22, still seeking for a social life. And yes, things are going to get very crazy but moody. So, you have to do nothing but deal with it. *sigh

Stay true to one style and getup is like to stuck in a rut. Not to mention, exhausting and apparently undiversified. How can u just have one look when trends are gradually evolving thru every seasons and decades? And discovering up and coming and asian fashion designers are now shaping better pieces of art (though painfully costly) for ordinary followers like us (experts like thakoon, Christopher Kane, Elizabeth & James, 3.1 Phillip Lim) But as much i hate to believe, finding my true style identity is like going as far as searching for innerpeace at the mountains of Nepal. Sometimes, just channeling goddess Audrey Hepburn and analyze her every fabrics that seep on her skin can be kinda a fluke. Look, she's ever timeless, classy, girls still worship her even after she's gone and she'ld look great in anything. But you'ld also wish to look like british darling, Alexa Chung, Rachel Bilson, Diane Kruger and even boho babe Vanessa hudgens. These individuals have such bold fashion senses and it's utter refreshing sometimes when they'ld crawled out of their elements and turn maybe country or glamour goddess, for some instances. (And literally, they aced at every moment in time.)

For newly 22, i'm still experimenting and enhancing my tastes. I seek for more mature pieces and wear something that fits that doesn't suffocate my body or melt in the background. I'm open to all styles, but like right now neutrals and soft pastels just kick it wif me coz they give me such freed to blend in with nature, but i'm still (forever true) to vintage and all. And i believe these styles will stay on wif me, and yes, they are my identity.

Commercials make Resort World astounding. I'm so going. Or not, the other options would be HongKong or Gold Coast.... right, i thought so. So, had multiple scoops of ice-cream and nestled before the tv. First debut of Ellen on AI. She's just so cool. And shrieked like a hyena for Wipeout. Practically a mad-cow show! Lastly, time for Sex and the City S2. Still on Carrie and Mr Big on-off-on and off again because this time he suddenly got engaged to a skinny (and dull, urgh) woman which broke Carrie into pieces. But i love the ending where she congratulated Mr Big and said, "Hubble" which was an excerpt from The way we were (I believed i'd watched the show). Finally, i switched off.

Yes, you beat the shit outta me... but i do, love you.